


twoAM

by hoeneymilktea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Post-Canon, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, Schweiden Adlers Setter Kageyama Tobio, Smut, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28006455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeneymilktea/pseuds/hoeneymilktea
Summary: All you wanted was a relationship — all he wanted was sex, or so you thought. For months, you followed the same routine; he called you at 2am, you drove over to his place and you fucked relentlessly for hours. After an appointment with him that left you in tears, Kageyama texted you again at 2am — seeking one last night with you.Inspired by SZA’s twoAM
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader
Comments: 39
Kudos: 535





	1. twoAM

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this back in October, I just kinda forgot to post it on here. I dearly love Kageyama so much and when I listened to twoAM by SZA, all I could think about was him.
> 
> This is not a songfic, though this fanfic is very inspired by the whole theme of the song. 
> 
> Please enjoy this little short fic I made! Thank you so much for reading!

Bzz Bzz.

You shifted your eyes away from the TV and grabbed your phone resting on the pillow atop your mattress, flinching as the brightness of your phone screen shone through the darkness of your bedroom, illuminating all the way up to the ceiling. The sound of the movie you were previously watching drowned in the background as you read Kageyama’s name across the lock screen of your phone.

_“Almost done drinking with the guys from Karasuno. Do you wanna hang out right now?”_

You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips at the notification preview, swiping your thumb up and unlocking the screen. You tapped on the messages app and grazed your thumbs over the keyboard, typing away at the screen and replying immediately. There was an irritated scowl on your face easily showing how pissed off you were at Kageyama.

_“Do you own a watch? Do you know what time it is right now?”_

You pressed the send button and watched the little blue bubble appear on the screen. Within a second, Kageyama’s read receipt popped up. You blinked twice, staring aimlessly at your phone.

_Read at 2:02am._

No reply bubble popped up to determine he was typing back. You continued to stare at the bright white backlight as seconds passed by. You frowned and locked your screen, throwing your phone across the bed.

You turned your body over to the other side of the bed and tucked your hand in between your pillow and mattress, feeling the soft sheets between your fingers. The corner of your lip quivered as you stared outside of the window, looking up at the dark violet sky with the waning crescent moon. The coldness of the pillowcase against your cheek made your body shiver as you thought about the man you loved, Tobio Kageyama.

You wondered why he would text you again out of the blue after several weeks of not speaking. You wondered how someone could be so dense and stupid when it came to communicating his intentions and feelings. You pondered where he was at the moment he read your text, secretly wishing he took the hint. Your eyes began to blur from the formation of tears in the corners of your eyes, dripping down the side of your face onto the cold pillowcase.

Prior to several weeks ago, for several months you had been going over to Kageyama’s place for late night hookups almost every week. You met him at Sugawara’s 23rd birthday party, immediately catching his eye the moment you arrived with several coworkers you and Sugawara shared from the elementary school you both worked at.

You were employed as Sugawara’s teaching assistant, assigned by your university’s primary education department to shadow under him. In order to one day become a primary school educator, you needed around eight hundred hours of teaching experience. Naturally, as time passed by, you and Sugawara became extremely close.

When the month of June came around, he invited you to his birthday party. Sugawara did mention to you that he would be inviting over his old volleyball team from Karasuno, as his birthday party was held in his childhood home right here in the Miyagi prefecture.

Kageyama also caught your attention the moment you arrived. You noticed he was fixated on you throughout the entire party, eyeing your body up and down constantly. You quickly noticed his actions and somehow had the guts to break the tension forming between you two. You bluntly asked him a brief question, not even previously saying a word to him beforehand. You tapped on his shoulder and he immediately looked behind, nonchalantly staring into your eyes.

You cocked an eyebrow and crossed your arms, courageously asking him such a peculiar question. “Why are you the only one at the party wearing all black?”

You observed everyone—including Tsukishima—wearing bright whites and subtle colors. Yet, you wondered why Kageyama stood out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of them. He was the only one in the party to be dressed head to toe in all-black attire, down from his box cut t-shirt to his expensive black Nike basketball Air Force 1 sneakers, imported from the United States. It almost looked like he was attending a funeral and not a birthday party.

Kageyama admired your swift introduction and easily spotted your observant nature. He smirked at your curiosity before surprisingly grabbing your hand and placing it on the hem of his t-shirt sleeve. He purposefully let your fingers caress his bicep, showing off his impressive physique.

“The material,” Kageyama trailed. “Feel it.”

You were drawn to his cocky, yet subtle attitude and his mysterious demeanor. There was something sexy about a man that was confident in his abilities yet so reserved with his emotion and communication, and this motivated you to get to know him a little better.

“What’s so special about it?” You questioned, rubbing the coarse fabric between the pads of your fingers.

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows and cocked a mischievous smile. “It’s boyfriend material.”

To your surprise, that’s what drew you in. Later that night, Kageyama railed you in Sugawara’s bathroom.

He couldn’t take his hands off of you—grabbing your waist and lifting you up onto the bathroom counter, pressing your body against the mirror as he fucked you roughly. Although Kageyama had barely conversed with you during the party, the way his body swayed back and forth inside of you—his forehead pressed up against yours and his rough touches against your skin did all the talking for him.

You remembered Tanaka furiously banging on the door, yelling for Kageyama to hurry up as he recalled several times that he needed to “take a giant shit” and that he’s “been prairie-dogging it for a while”.

You and Kageyama took almost an hour in the bathroom fucking each other relentlessly, fogging up the mirror and scattering all of Sugawara’s bathroom essentials all over the floor. You both chuckled together, scurrying to put your clothes back on and look presentable. As you both left the bathroom at the same time, the sound that came out of Tanaka’s mouth was indescribable and inhuman, and you were sure he really took his giant shit right then and there.

Although Tanaka respected Kageyama’s privacy, he couldn’t look at him the same anymore. He discreetly gave him a slap on the back every time he passed behind him, congratulating Kageyama for “finally scoring one”.

You hadn’t seen Kageyama for several weeks after Sugawara’s birthday party. You never got his number, nor any sort of social media from him as you had to abruptly leave after your little encounter with him.

You immediately dismissed Kageyama as just another random hookup—those came and went all throughout the first few years starting your university. He was just another nameless face with an amazing body until one night swiping through the Tinder app on your phone, Kageyama’s profile popped up displaying his full name, age and location. Although you had forgotten who he was for a little bit, you recognized that cocky little smile on his face immediately.

 _Kageyama Tobio, 23, fifteen miles away_.

You scrolled through his profile and noticed his cover photo displaying a picture himself in his uniform for Japan’s Olympic National Volleyball team. You swiped through his photos, widening your eyes when the second picture popped up—displaying a thirst trap mirror pic of himself in the Schweiden Adlers volleyball uniform, proudly showing off the number twenty on his jersey. You stared down at his toned torso and abs peeking underneath the white uniform through his pose, placing your left hand over your mouth.

You raised your eyebrows as you didn’t notice Kageyama was a famous athlete in Japan, playing for both the Schweiden Adlers and Japan’s Olympic National Volleyball team. You immediately scolded yourself for not taking him seriously and acquiring his number at Sugawara’s party. Luckily somehow through fate, you stumbled across his Tinder account, praising the universe for giving you another chance. Most of his pictures consisted of death stare selfies, a few more “shirtless at the gym” mirror pictures and one little throwback photo of him in high school posing with a younger Sugawara.

You immediately swiped right and instantaneously matched with Kageyama. Within a second, he messaged your account with a greeting and a smirk emoji attached at the end.

“Hey (Y/N). Long time no see. Do you still remember me?”

Within a few hours, Kageyama sent over his address and you found yourself riding his dick at 2AM. Both of you fucked relentlessly for hours until you passed out from exhaustion. By the time you woke up in the morning, Kageyama’s arms diligently wrapped around your body under the covers with his warm chest pressed up against your bare back. You felt warm and loved the feeling of Kageyama’s face snuggled up against the crook of your neck while his soft breathing remained in sync with yours.

Your secret meetings happened on regular occurrences from there on. The same happened every week—Kageyama would text you close to 2AM and you would get ready to head out to his condo in the outskirts of Tokyo, driving around an hour to see him from your apartment on the other side of Tokyo. After completing your mandatory shadow hours at Miyagi Elementary, you decided to move back to your hometown, which conveniently was a lot closer to Kageyama than you thought.

Kageyama was a part of Japan’s Olympic National Volleyball team and the Schweiden Adlers, and you had known that since the beginning. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you started regularly hooking up with him; knowing how busy his schedule was with volleyball practice, conference meetings and away games.

Shit, you would even brag to your friends and acquaintances about Kageyama—how amazing he was in bed and how he was a famous professional athlete. Yet, deep down inside you knew how empty your words were when the romantic aspect of your relationship with him started to come into question.

Kageyama always dodged your inquiry of being in a relationship with you, always saying he didn’t have time to return any sort of affection due to his stoic and aloof nature—always preferring to dedicate his time and attention to his work. Yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about how passionate he would be while he fucked you—kissing you like you were the last woman on earth; touching you like you were his and only his. It made you fall in love with him more each time, and you knew the deeper you fell in love with Kageyama, the more you would regret it in the end.

Your phone underneath the covers buzzed again. You knew exactly who it was, yet you still felt that rush of excitement whenever Kageyama texted; whether it be for a 2AM rendezvous or a simple chat about your day. You extended your right arm and fished for your phone underneath the blanket—the bright background of your lock screen and the text notification from Kageyama shining brightly at your face.

_“Heading home. See you in an hour.”_

You heavily sighed, knowing exactly the routine. He texts. You comply. You’re dicked down underneath him. You both fuck for hours. It was what you guys usually did together. You stared at your phone for a second before quickly typing what you had wanted to say to him for such a long time. You ended your sentence with a period instead of a question mark, intentionally meaning for it to be a command. You pressed the send button and watched the text bubble pop up.

“ _Come and see me for once.”_

You stared at the chat log for a long time before you saw the text message status change to read. You slumped back against the headboard of your bed and patiently waited for Kageyama’s reply. You fiddled your thumbs, wavering it above the touchscreen keyboard pretending to write as you contemplated whether or not to send another text.

Several minutes passed as you waited patiently for Kageyama’s response, yet still receiving nothing. You sighed softly and typed out another text as the rapid keyboard clicks echoed throughout your room.

_“I’ll be over in a few.”_

You pressed send, watching the text transform into a blue bubble message. You couldn’t decide whether to be disappointed in yourself or not. You kept falling for his silly little games over and over again, and this time was no different. Once again, you got stuck in the ritual, stressing over which black lingerie to wear, the way he always liked it.

As you shifted through your dresser drawers, you got stuck up thinking about the last time you were with Kageyama—the way he fucked you like no one else has; your head buried in his mattress with your back arched. You remembered the full body mirror he had in the corner of his room and how it faced your view perfectly. You would always lift your head to see Kageyama’s naked body behind yours and watch everything he was doing to you.

Kageyama would lift his hand up and smack your ass before gripping your waist tightly and leaning forward, sucking and kissing on the area between your right shoulder-blade. He knew exactly which spots you loved, always making sure you were well taken care of before he received any pleasure from you.

You couldn’t stop thinking about how every time he fucked you in front of the mirror, he would stare down at your body, looking at you like he loved you. It made you feel some type of way, always sending a rush of euphoria up to your brain as you were deeply in love with him. Yet, you knew better than to childishly think that, as you knew he didn’t and would never love you back. You tried not to care, or at least show like you didn’t care as you both knew there was only one reason you two were together: to fuck.

He reached his left hand around the front of your neck and choked you, pinching both sides with his thumb and middle finger to block the flow of oxygen to your brain. He pulled your head back as you closed your eyes, still feeling everything he was doing to you.

Sometimes you wished time would stop in those moments with Kageyama, as it was sometimes the only affection you would receive from him. On occasions, he would take you out on a date to a nice restaurant, or take you to go see that one movie you kept raving about. Yet, that wasn’t all the time, and usually only seen as friendly gestures from him. He was usually always busy practicing for volleyball games, playing at his volleyball games or hanging out with his volleyball teammates.

Volleyball.

The one thing really in between you two. The one thing interfering almost every chance you had with Kageyama. You thought how different things would have been if he wasn’t a professional athlete. You wouldn’t be caught up reminiscing on the most intimate parts of your complicated relationship with Kageyama. You wouldn’t be clutching your heart every time you thought about him. You wouldn’t be so devastated knowing that he could never love you back.

The last time you were with him was bittersweet. He came home after losing a game to the Black Jackals, and you could tell he was immediately stressed out and upset. He called you over five hours earlier than usual, his voice raspy and deep from frustration. You were excited as you knew he would be rougher than usual, taking out his anger during sex. When you arrived, he didn’t even greet you—he went straight to kissing your lips, bringing his hands up your shirt and feeling all over your figure.

He couldn’t even wait until you got to the bed as he already started undressing you in the living room, pressing your body up against the cold leather couch. You were right—as expected, Kageyama was aggressive and rougher than usual. Yet, that was the way you liked it; you thought he was so sexy when he showed the dominant and unrestrained side of himself.

You both were naked on the couch in a dimly lit living room with the blinds wide open, exposing the Tokyo night skyline in the distance. You rode his dick for hours—his hands firmly on your waist guiding you back and forth as you grinded your ass on his hips. Kageyama was a loud moaner, always showing exactly how he was feeling every moment you were intimate with him.

You flung your hands around his neck, clinging onto him for dear life as you moved your hips in a circle. The intensity growing in your core was overfilling, and you could feel yourself being driven over the edge. Kageyama bit your shoulder, knowing how much you loved it when he got rough. He trailed his kisses to your neck, and roughly sucked and kissed your sweet skin.

“Fuck,” You moaned delicately, your hands caressing the edges of his shoulders. “Don’t stop!”

You heard Kageyama chuckle as he continued to suck the suppleness of your skin, leaving behind a darkened mark on your neck. The way his tongue grazed against your collarbone drove you over the edge, wanting more from his touch. You grabbed the back of his head and wrapped your arms around his entire face—moaning straight into his ear as you swayed your hips in a back and forth motion.

You felt him grunt in your ear, satisfied by your change in pace as you rode his cock. It throbbed inside of you, aching for a release inside of your walls. Kageyama lifted up his hand and spanked you with a loud smack, firmly grasping your ass and caressing his fingers against your skin. You felt his hand creep up to the crook of your back, holding you still as he propped up one leg onto the couch, instantaneously flipping you over.

You felt your back collide with the coldness of the leather couch, sending chills down your spine. Kageyama kissed you roughly, the softness of his lips brushing against yours. His cock slid out of your pussy, only for it to be plunged back in—hitting the entrance of your cervix. You screamed out his name into his ear, closing your eyes and scratching the skin underneath his shoulder blades. He moaned from the scrape of your nails, digging his hips deeper into your core as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Tobio,” You breathlessly moaned as you rocked your hips and rolled your eyes to the back of your head. “Fuck me harder.”

You didn’t have to tell Kageyama twice. Fucking an athlete always had its perks; the outstanding endurance he had during sex was immaculate. No man had ever made your body feel that way before. The feeling of nirvana washed over your body, sending an electric shock all throughout your nervous system. You curled your toes and parted your lips slightly, releasing an incoherent moan as you felt your core explode. Your first orgasm of the night finally came.

In moments like these, you really wished time would reverse so you were able to relive every second with Kageyama. You loved everything about him, and it hurt knowing he never felt the same way about you. His actions and words always contradicted each other as he claimed you two were just friends, noting that you were the one who said to keep the relationship casual.

You and Kageyama both know people and situations change, especially since you’ve been fucking him every week for months. There was no doubt in your mind that you’ve ended up falling in love with him.

After you fucked again in his bedroom—finishing off the fifth and final orgasm of the night, you laid on his pillow and nonchalantly cuddled up to his chest. You closed your eyes and asked him the question that was always ruminating inside of your mind.

“How come we’re not dating yet?”

Kageyama looked down at you with a shocked look on his face, yet it didn’t seem like he was surprised to hear those words. You look back at him confused, wondering why he would react the way he did.

“What’s wrong? It’s not like we’ve been, uh, I don’t know… fucking every week for months,” You sarcastically mumbled under your breath, tracing your finger in a heart shape on his chest, right where his actual heart would be.

Kageyama didn’t say a word. He kept looking away, avoiding your question. Your heart started to sink as you thought he might have felt the same way about you the same way you felt about him.

“Look,” Kageyama firmly stated. “We can’t date.”

You blinked before shoving him off of you, instinctively pushing his heavy body to the right side of the bed. You turned over to the other side and tucked your hands underneath Kageyama’s left side pillow. He sighed and leaned over to where you were, grabbing your waist and pulling you back in. He wrapped his strong arms around your body, pulling you close to his chest. Kageyama closed his eyes and rested his chin atop your forehead and sighed heavily.

“Why?” You softly replied, hoping he couldn’t feel the tears forming in your eyes.

Kageyama held you tighter and didn’t say a word. He kept quiet for such a long time that you suspected he was trying to come up with another bullshit answer. You knew that he knew you wanted a relationship with him. You brought it up any chance you had, yet Kageyama always dismissed your wishes.

“I understand if you’ve been seeing other women.” You stated, with two small tears dripping down your face. Your voice strained half way as you choked on your words, letting Kageyama know that you were already crying.

“That’s not true,” Kageyama’s deep and raspy voice echoed throughout the inside of his body as you had your ear pressed up against his chest. “Sure, I’ve been with other women but you’re the only one I’m seeing right now.”

You raised your left hand to wipe away the tears streaming down your face. Your forehead was still pressed up against his chest and his hands were still firmly placed on your back.

“Then what’s stopping us,” You asked with an irritated tone. Although you were upset he kept dodging the question, the fact that Kageyama confirmed you were the only one he’s been with was extremely reassuring. It became obvious when you would see him every week during the same time. Even apart from your usual meetings, he would always text you and take you on casual dates. Nothing too serious, but you always had a fun time with him.

It was the little things like those moments that really made you fall in love with Kageyama. He was everything you could have wanted and more, yet unfortunately you seemed to be lacking something that’s preventing him to want to be with you too.

“I got scouted.” Kageyama confessed. You lifted your head up above and stared into his eyes, knowing deep down he felt extremely guilty.

“What do you mean?” You asked, wiping away a final tear from your eyes.

“I got scouted by the Ali Roma in Italy to play for them in the FVIB Men’s World Cup.” He looked away from your gaze and crossed his arms. You could tell it pained him to confess to you. His blueberry eyes glistened from the light coming from the lamp and the candles beside him on the nightstand. You couldn’t tell if he was about to cry or not, but you knew it took a lot out of him to confess.

“I leave in two months.” Kageyama’s voice strained. He looked down, visibly upset. “It’s been my dream ever since I was a kid to play volleyball professionally. My career is so important to me—I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I turned down this once in a lifetime opportunity.”

You looked down at the edge of the white sheets resting peacefully on your naked torso. You clasped your hands together and watched your tears drop onto Kageyama’s blanket, forming pools of your aching sadness. Uncontrollably, you started to cry. You couldn’t hold it back at that point and cupped your face and silently sobbed.

Kageyama watched you from the other side of his king sized bed. You felt your body forcefully turn towards him as Kageyama embraced you into a hug. He held you firmly, yet so gently. Your emotions contradicted your thoughts as you couldn’t decipher between feeling and logic. You felt the tears forming in the corner of your eyes stream down your face, dripping onto Kageyama’s chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You mumbled into his chest as your cries swallowed your words. You heard his breath tremble and felt his hand brush up against your face. You pulled your head back from his chest, tears running down your cheeks. Through the blurriness of your vision, you saw Kageyama’s hands pressed up against his face as his lip quivered and a single tear rolled down his face. Covering his eyes with both of his palms, he looked away from your gaze.

You couldn’t believe it. For the first time since you’ve known him, Kageyama was silently sobbing.

You wiped away the snot and tears from your nose, looking up at him as he reclined back into his headboard—not making a sound as he wept in silence.

Remembering back to that moment, you didn’t realize how much Kageyama cared for you. You didn’t fit the pieces together—how much courage it took out of him to confess his departure and how he cried seeing you so visibly upset by it. You didn’t realize it until now as you reflected back on it. Oh how you took that moment for granted.

It pained you to remember that night. You always stayed with him from dusk until dawn when you two were together, but that night you felt the need to go back home. Kageyama didn’t stop you either, not even bothering to walk you back out to your car. You remembered shivering in your shorts and his old high school volleyball sweatshirt around your torso as you fumbled to shove your car keys into the ignition.

When you shifted the rearview mirror, you looked back at your reflection—your cheeks puffed from the tears as makeup ran down your face. You felt a stabbing pain in your chest and an overwhelming amount of grief as you placed your forehead against the top of your steering wheel. The parking garage of Kageyama’s condo fell silent as you could only hear your wails of anguish. Your mind ruminated through all the contented memories with him—showcasing the moments you favored the most. As much as you hated to admit it, Kageyama was your everything—dare you say it? Kageyama was your first love, despite him never feeling the same way for you.

It absolutely pained you to realize how much time you had wasted trying to pursue a relationship with this man. All those months you two had been spending together, all the dates he took you out to, all the times you fucked until the sun came up—all for it to go to waste because you caught feelings for him; all because you loved him so deeply.

You grabbed the warm pink nude lip gloss from your makeup pouch, reminiscing on your last encounter with Kageyama. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, looking deep into your own eyes with a blank expression.

After your last encounter with him, you never bothered to call or text him back. You left all of Kageyama’s calls on voicemail, all of his texts on read and all of his attempts to see you unnoticed. Eventually, he gave up trying after taking the hint.

It was Kageyama’s last night in Tokyo, exactly two months since you last saw him. Tomorrow morning, he would be on a one way flight to Europe—leaving back behind his life here in Japan to start a new one in Italy. You wondered if he would settle for a nice Italian girl over there, completely forgetting about you in Japan. Although the thought of it made you sick to your stomach, you knew it would happen either way.

He would forget about you once he leaves. The devil would finally cut you loose.

Gradually, you began to apply the lip gloss; sliding the wand side to side against your bottom lip. You puckered your lips and kissed the air, evenly spreading the lip gloss up to your cupid’s bow. Kageyama always loved that certain shade of pink and said how much your lips tasted like sweetened milk when he kissed you with it on. Though over the past two months, you haven’t touch it once since then.

You checked the time again. 2:53am. It was almost time for you to leave.

The sound of crickets could be heard outside of your window as you grabbed your coat from your closet hanger, slipping on the sleeves one arm at a time. You slipped your phone into the left pocket while placing your keys and wallet in the other. You silently sighed to yourself, knowing exactly what was to come. It was the same old, same old—nothing ever changing. Even on his last night in Tokyo, he couldn’t even bother to make an effort.

Every thought raced through your mind as you stepped out of your bedroom and walked through the darkness of your living room, slipping on your shoes near the front door. Within an instant, your phone buzzed again, playing the silly little ringtone you put for him every time he called.

Before slipping on your shoes, you reached into your left pocket and pulled out your phone. Even though you had already known it was Kageyama calling, butterflies still fluttered in your stomach. Despite how angry, frustrated and disappointed you were him, he never failed to make your knees weak and your body crumble.

You accepted his call and placed your phone up to your ear, murmuring a soft greeting.

“Hello?”

You gripped the door handle with your right hand, turning it clockwise. As you swung the door open, you peered to the ground, spotting those oh so familiar black tennis shoes. Your eyes scanned up the stranger’s body, instantaneously recognizing the man standing right in front of you. He too had his phone up to his ear, looking down at you with those tender blueberry eyes. Kageyama gave you a soft smile, clicking the “end call” button on his phone with the tip of his thumb.

“Hi, (Y/N).” Kageyama placed his hand up to your face, caressing the apples of your cheeks with his thumb. “I missed you.”

Right then and there, you fell in love with him all over again.


	2. come and see me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I am so sorry for the long wait. Writing this made me so sad, it brought me to tears every time I tried to finish it. I still hope you enjoy it, though. Thank you for being so patient with me. <3

You blinked twice, staring up into Kageyama’s eyes. You couldn’t fucking believe it—Kageyama was standing on the little porch in front of your apartment on the second floor. His hair was messy and his face blushed red from the alcohol he had been drinking while out with his old high school volleyball team. He didn’t release his hand from your face, still softly caressing the delicate skin on your cheek.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, standing up straight and placing your hand on top of Kageyama’s. His fingers felt cold and it provided a nice contrast from the warmth of your face.

“You told me to come and see you for once,” He paraphrased, slightly tilting his head in your direction. “I also wanted to see your beautiful face one last time.”

At that point, you really couldn’t resist him. Kageyama wasn’t the most articulate, but he sure had a way with words when it came to making a woman feel like she was loved. It was a blessing and a curse as he used it for his own advantage sometimes. You wondered if this was one of those times.

“How did you even get here?” You furrowed your brows up at him and pursed your lips.

“I asked Sugawara to drop me off. I just really wanted to see you one last time before I leave.” His eyelids drooped down as he affectionately stared at you, still caressing your cheek with his thumb.

You really couldn’t believe it. The Great Tobio Kageyama, came to see you for once. It truly was a surprise, you didn’t expect him to actually take you seriously. Your mind overflowed with thoughts coming from different directions, all pointing towards Kageyama. Although you were overjoyed from his effort, it irritated you that it took him the night before he had to leave to finally come over to your apartment. Why did it have to be now? Why did it have to be right before he left for Italy?

“Why?” You lowered his hand down from your cheek. Kageyama tilted his head to the other side, the smile on his face slowly disappearing. “Why now? How come you’ve never visited me until now, when you have to finally leave?” 

He stared at you in silence, unable to respond to your rhetoric. You looked up in the ocean of his eyes, staring into your reflection of his retina. Kageyama placed both of his hands into his jacket pockets, his lean figure shivering from the cold air.

“I never meant to hurt you, (Y/N).”

You sighed, slipping your shoes off without using your hands. While kicking them back into the shoe rack you had beside the door, you motioned for Kageyama to come in. He obliged, stepping in one foot at a time before you slowly closed the door behind. 

He took his arms out again, pressing the tips of his fingers against his lips as he warmed up his hands, breathing hot air on his palms. You locked the door and turned around to face Kageyama, giving him an expressionless look.

You walked towards him and grabbed his freezing cold hands, caressing the tips of his calloused fingers as you looked up into his eyes. You both didn’t say anything for a second before you dropped both of them to the side and wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him close to your body.

He felt cold, just like his hands while you were warm from the heat of your apartment. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, feeling the curve of your body as he caressed his hands down your back and rested his fingertips on the edge of your waist buried in your jacket.

“I love you, (Y/N).” Kageyama whispered as he closed his eyes, burying his face deep into the crook of your neck. “I love you so much.”

You paused for a moment, staring straight into the silhouette of your dark kitchen behind Kageyama. His body leaned against the counter, holding yours still as you embraced. You couldn’t comprehend his sentence; the three letter words resonated throughout your mind as you felt Kageyama hold you tighter.

_I love you._

“I love you too, Tobio.” You instantly confessed, not holding back your tears as it fell from your eyes. “I have loved you for so long.”

You heard Kageyama’s breath hitch, the sound of his silent weeping crowded your right ear as you felt pellets of tears drop onto your jacket’s shoulder. You began to hesitantly breathe through your teeth, closing your eyes as you held on tightly to the back of his neck. You felt your eyelashes become heavy as they drenched in your tears, sliding down both of you cheeks.

“It took me so long to realize that I love you,” Kageyama choked, his words swallowed by the tears dripping down his face. “But it’s too late now.”

Much to your surprise, Kageyama was lying—he loved you all along, ever since he first laid eyes on you. During Sugawara’s birthday party, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on—and he’d been with plenty and plenty of women before, all through being an Olympic athlete. The way you grasped your cup with your left hand so delicately, resting the bottom of your drink on your pinky finger and how your leaned so eloquently against the kitchen countertop while conversing with Hinata; that was the moment he took interest in you.

He was so upset when you had to leave abruptly after your rendezvous together, never even catching your name or your phone number. Out of the blue one day, he couldn’t take it anymore. He contacted Sugawara and asked for your name, describing your features to him vaguely—the color of your hair, the clothes you wore and the beautiful shape of your eyes. Sugawara instantly knew who he was talking about, and it was so obvious that Kageyama was describing you.

He remembered the way Sugawara chuckled on the phone, teasing him about his curiosity.

_“That’s (Y/N), she’s my T.A.”_

_“Oh, cool.”_

_“Why, do you like her?”_

At the time, he denied it. Thinking back on it now, he should have admitted that he fell in love with you—he fell in love with a strange, beautiful woman at his friend’s birthday party.

Kageyama had just completed volleyball practice at the gymnasium the Schweiden Adlers played at, finishing a shower in the locker room while he scrolled on Tinder. He was feeling particularly lustful for the night, in the mood for another hookup with a pretty woman.

Although it had been weeks since he last saw you, every single hookup he had after yours felt different and subpar. He couldn’t get off the same way anymore, and just to orgasm, he had to keep thinking of the way your face grew hot against his touch, the way your lips slightly parted every time you took a shallow breath before his cock slid into you.

Kageyama rubbed the white towel on his head back and forth, drying his damp black hair. He walked passed Wakatoshi Ushijima, who commented on how fast he was swiping through women on the Tinder app.

“You’re not looking at her other pictures,” he noticed as Kageyama swiped left on a woman with a gorgeous body and dyed blonde hair. “You didn’t even look at he bio.”

Kageyama hummed, ignoring Ushijima’s remarks in the locker room as he walked over to his own, still swiping on his phone. He mindlessly opened his locker, grabbing his underwear and shorts to put on as his eyes glued onto his phone. It was almost close to ten o’clock, their practice running extra late that evening.

Kageyama almost dropped his phone when he swiped left on another woman’s profile before you, revealing your familiar face. It baffled him how you stood out so clearly amongst the women on Tinder—the others couldn’t compare to how beautiful you were to him. Looking down at your name, age and location; Kageyama’s eyes widened.

_(Y/N), 23, fifteen miles away._

He tapped on your other photos to confirm it was you—one with you and some of your friends, another selfie of you in front of a sakura tree and the final photo of you and Sugawara hugging some school children, assuming it was the students you both taught at Miyagi Elementary. He stared at your gorgeous smile, the way you laughed in the picture making his stomach flutter.

He instantly swiped right. Putting his phone away, he patiently waited for you to match with him as well.

When he received the matched notification, he didn’t waste any time messaging you back. He smirked when you accepted his proposal to swing by his condo, feeling the rush of blood straight to the bottom half of his body, thinking about scooping you up from the ground and fucking you against the wall. By the end of the night with you wrapped up in his arms, that was when he realized the only one meant for him was you—and only you.

Unfortunately for Kageyama, it was hard for him to show his true feelings outwardly to you in words as the only way he could show his affection for you was through touch. Kageyama wasn’t much of a talker, nonetheless savvy with words. But his love language definitely was touch—always placing his hands on your body whenever he could.

Even in the less physically intimate settings while you both were out on mundane dates—a hand resting on the crook of your back while you both strutted down the mall or even a finger resting gently on your hand while out to dinner—Kageyama always had his hands on you one way or another.

It was no different any time you both had sex, his sweet touches always helping you reach nirvana when you were with him. Your reactions made him aroused—the way your eyebrows lifted as your mouth shaped into a circle, moaning out his name softly or loudly whenever he touched you. 

The more he spent time with you, the more he fell deeper in love. He knew you loved him too, it was obvious. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to commit, no matter how much he tried. He hated himself for it; he hated that he couldn’t give you what you wanted and he hated that it drove him crazy every time. 

It pained him knowing you were hurting inside, your smile becoming less and less bright every time he ignored your questions about being in a relationship. Kageyama kept putting it off, shoving his feelings for you in the back of his mind as it kept distracting him from his work.

“Kageyama! Focus already, what’s with you?!” Coach Suzaku scolded from across the court as the ball Kageyama had set flew in the opposite direction, entirely missing Ushijima’s spike.

He instantly apologized, knowing that he couldn’t risk making mistakes thinking about you during an official match against the Black Jackals. He wished you were there in the stands, cheering him on. Yet, he knew how tricky that would be for you and him—specifically the relationship status for the both of you.

For professional athletes, their public relations status must be disclosed with the coach and the league. Official spouses and significant others must go through piles and piles of paperwork, background screenings and an oath to not leak, expose or ruin the reputation of the players they were with.

That was one of the reasons why Kageyama withheld being in an official relationship with you. Secret hookups were just one loophole in the system that athletes could do; sleeping with as many people as they wanted to. Kageyama wanted to stick with it, as he didn’t want to put you under the spotlight especially when you weren’t ready for it yet.

Another reason was that before he met you, he had already agreed to play for the Ali Roma in Italy. Kageyama thought that a beautiful country with beautiful girls was perfect for him—that was until he met you. It was almost like the universe wanted to see him suffer. As time passed by, he kept postponing his plans to tell you about it. Every time he got the courage to, he saw your face; the way the corner of your mouth curled upwards and the glisten in your eyes.

Every time he saw you, it felt like everything preventing him from being with you wasn’t an issue anymore. He wanted nothing more than to spend every waking minute with you, his arms wrapped around your body while you snuggled into his chest—both you pretending like everything was okay, like the universe wasn’t against you both for once.

Kageyama was stoic, blunt and cold to others. That was just how he’s been his entire life—but not to you.

Your bright energy pulled him out of the darkness he had been brooding in, bringing him back into the good days of his life. You were the sunshine in his mind, and no one could have come close to that position, not even Shōyō Hinata himself.

That’s why when you cried right in front of him—tears streaming down your face as your cheeks puffed up, your silent sobs of anguish echoing into his bedroom. He had no choice but to also cry himself to sleep that night. 

And there you both were, crying on each other’s shoulders. Kageyama finally realized and confessed his love for you, gripping your body tightly against his as he inhaled your sweet scent of perfume—the one he always loved on you, the one you said you only wear whenever you were around him because of how much he loved the scent.

“I’ve always loved you, Tobio.” You mumbled into his ear, your tears dripping onto your flushed lips. “No one else has my love except for you.”

Your words rang into Kageyama’s ears, ruminating throughout his mind. His breath hitched again, his exhales staggered against the canvas fabric of your coat. He pulled his head up and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, staring straight into your glistening eyes.

Kageyama looked into your soft expression, the way your skin illuminated in the dark from the moonlight shining through the window and how your lips were always slightly parted, never closed. He inhaled a sharp breath before placing his right hand on the side of your face, still resting his left on the crook of your waist.

“I’ve never loved anyone this much before.” Kageyama softly whispered, his eyelids hooded down to stare into your dilated pupils. “You’re the light of my life, (Y/N).”

In an instant, Kageyama gently closed his eyes and pressed his lips against yours. The soft feeling of your damp cheek against his thumb as he rubbed your skin in circles calmed him down as he deepened the kiss. Your lips felt so soft, like smooth butter on the perfect fluffy loaf of bread. Your lips moved against his so eloquently, like velvet when it’s touched with the grain. Your lips tasted so sweet, like condensed milk atop delicious strawberries on a cake with buttercream frosting.

He grabbed your right hand, intertwining his cold fingers against your warm touch. The heat from your skin transferred over to his palm as you both continued to lock your fingers together. Kageyama deepened the kiss, moving his lower lip against yours as he opened his mouth slightly, breathing in the warm air of your apartment.

For the first time in forever, your mind felt at ease. There were no butterflies in your stomach or any sweat accumulating in your forehead or palms. You felt content; happy for yourself for once. It felt like you were laying under the sun in a bright, windy meadow field—feeling the cool spring breeze against your skin and the tickling grass underneath your palms, the sun glistening up above your head while Kageyama called your name in the distance.

You wondered if that was your version of happiness. The freshly picked roses in his hand, the thorns gently pricking his palms as the bright red petals wait to greet you hello. The warm smile on his face as his eyes softened, his eyebrows gently raised when he saw you across the field. Who knew where you two were as the only thing that mattered at the moment was Kageyama lying by your side on the grass, his eyes closed while your hands intertwined.

Your eyes began to tear up again, knowing your ideal version of happiness could never happen anymore. Tears began to drip from your eyelashes onto Kageyama’s cheek, causing him to pull away. He looked at your bittersweet expression, your eyes still closed as a single tear dripped down your cheek.

He placed his right hand on your face again, his thumb swiping the tear aside. You fluttered your eyes, your vision still blurry. You made out his comforting smile before Kageyama embraced you into a hug, snuggling his head into the crook of your neck while his arms diligently wrapped around your waist.

“Please don’t cry anymore,” He whispered into your ear, his lips brushing against your helix. “I’m here with you.”

He pinched the canvas fabric of your jacket between his fingers, tugging on the zippers. With both of his hands, he gently took off your jacket—the heavy coat dropping down onto the floor before you snaked your arms around his large figure. Kageyama caressed the lining of your spine, his fingers trailing down your back until his slipped his hand underneath the hem of your shirt.

He leaned his head in close to yours, centimeters away from your lips. He kissed your nose lightly before kissing you on the lips again, the softness of his fingertips gently caressing against the skin on your cheeks. Your eyelids fluttered open, looking straight at his darkened face in the shadow of your apartment. Although Kageyama had told you not to cry again, you couldn’t help but shed another tear down your cheek.

You broke the kiss, looking straight at Kageyama. He stared at you without saying a word, the silence around the apartment speaking louder than it could. His cold hands touched the back of your waist, his calloused fingertips moving in small circles around the warmth of your skin.

“Can we please be together for one more night?” You whispered before lowering your head down, the aforementioned tears dropping down onto your arms as you held him close. “I want to be with you, one last time before you go.”

“Of course,” Kageyama lifted his hand from your back and rested his now-warm fingers on the bottom of your chin, placing his thumb right below your bottom lip. “I’ll make sure to take care of you.”

He brought your face close to his again, your lips connecting once more. The heat of your body fueled up his arousal, his hands now trailing up your back as he guided you to remove your shirt. Once the fabric slipped past your head and dropped to the floor, Kageyama did the same—taking off his track jacket and reaching his hands behind his neck, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling it off his body.

He revealed the toned section of his upper body, your hands touching the little crevices of his abs as you placed your lips back on his. The feeling of his lips on yours awoke a desire within the pit of your stomach, the same one you always felt when being with Kageyama. Gradually, his lips began to part open, his tongue slowly slipping into your mouth as he hummed a moan.

The walk to your bedroom wasn’t far, your body being pushed up against the walls as Kageyama kissed you fiercely—clothing being dropped and scattered all throughout your apartment. He pinned you down onto your bed, the blinds to the sliding door of your bedroom balcony already pushed open to expose the white moon up in the Tokyo violet night sky.

The illumination of the moon shined brightly down on your fully naked figures, the white sheets reflecting the light back on your bodies. Kageyama broke the kiss as he planted soft smooches along your jaw, tracing the tip of his tongue down your neck. You felt his lips brush against the crook of your neck, lightly sucking on your sweet skin. You heard him inhale your scent deeply, the smell of the perfume he loved on you infiltrating his senses.

“Tobio,” You moaned out, a small breath escaping between your lips. The air felt cold; a sharp contrast to the intense heat exerting from both of your bodies. Kageyama intertwined his fingers with yours, his right hand pressed against your sweaty palm buried deep within the white sheets.

His lips trailed down to your collarbone, the guttural sound in the back of his throat resurfacing through his lips as he teeth dragged against your warm skin. Kageyama’s rough hands caressed down your chest and over your breasts, the pads of his thumbs gently grazing over your nipples. The rest of his fingers cupped under your skin as he lowered his head and placed his mouth over your left bud. The second you closed your eyes, the pleasure from his touch reached to the tips of your digits—a tingling sensation all throughout your body as he sucked on your nipple, his left index finger softly rolling your other in a circle.

You apprehended a moan; your mouth all the way opened while not a sound escaped out. Your body arched as you caressed the back of his head, Kageyama’s silky black hair looped through your fingers. The tip of his hot tongue swirled against your nipple again, the feeling of his saliva swishing on your skin as he ever so carefully placed your hardened bud in between his teeth—gently rolling it back and forth to get a reaction from you.

A moan finally escaped through your lips, a melodic sound to Kageyama’s ears. His right hand snaked under your body, his fingers trailing down your back as he grasped your ass. Tightening the orifice around his mouth, he released your nipple and licked it one last time before planting a tiny kiss on your sternum—trailing his lips down your stomach.

Kageyama grasped both of your knees, positioning his head in between your legs as he spread them open. You laid on your back, the cool sheets beneath you sticking to your sweaty skin as you grasped the edges of the fabric. He lowered his head down, resting the back of your knees on his hands as he slowly licked from the bottom of your vagina up to your clit.

A shudder trickled down your spine as his surprisingly cold tongue flicked over the edges of your labia, trailing all throughout your pussy before he made his way back up. You let out a sharp exhale, releasing your grip on the sheets as you ran your fingers up the sides of Kageyama’s head. You rubbed the corners of his temples with your thumbs, pushing them forward as his bangs lifted up—revealing his eyes closed and his eyebrows cinched, a concentrated expression forming on his face.

Bringing your shoulders back, you felt a crack in your spine as your body arched up. You inhaled deeply, your cheeks hot as you stared up at your ceiling. Reflections of light from your balcony door scattered your bedroom walls, the sound of midnight traffic emitting from below. The silent conversation between you both was brought to a halt as you screamed Kageyama’s name the minute his ice cold fingers slowly entered, your walls cinching inward from his gradual thrust.

You moaned in immense pleasure, the movements of his fingers gliding back and forth inside of your vagina ascending your soul up into the sky. Making sure you’re able to reach your peak properly, Kageyama placed his lips back on your clit, the suction of his orifice gently oscillating back and forth as he moved his jaw. The swish of his tongue on your clit made you tighten your grip on his hair, the tug from your fingers signaling Kageyama to keep going.

“Tobio, oh my god—fuck!” You lifted your thighs up from the bed, crushing the sides of his temples as you rocked your hips from side to side. 

Kageyama chuckled against your pussy before he placed his large hand on your stomach, pushing your body down to keep you still. He trickled his fingers up to your chest, grazing his fingertips over your hardened nipple once more. The palm of his hand pressed up against your breast, slightly kneading it before he trailed down to your right hand—intertwining his fingers with yours.

With his other hand, Kageyama continued to thrust his fingers in and out of your vagina, his wrist rotated anteriorly and the tips of his fingers pressing up against your g-spot. He always knew exactly how to make you come; tonight was no different. Burying his face deeper into his pussy, your secretions and his saliva scattered all over the place—all over your thighs, all over his face and all over the foot of the bed.

As he removed his mouth from your core, Kageyama released a heavy exhale—catching his breath as his lips smacked against each other, a popping noise erupting from the suction. He looked up at you, the sight of your naked body arousing him every passing second as his cock became erect.

“I love you,” Kageyama whispered below, the hand once thrusting inside of you now rubbing against your swollen clit—two fingers shaking in a side to side motion as the pads of his fingers stimulated every nerve. Guided by your secretions, your clit swirled in a circle, causing you to let out a staggered moan.

Kageyama smiled up at you, closing his eyes and placing his lips back on your sex. With one swift motion, he effortlessly pushed his fingers back inside of you—curling his fingers deep within your vagina. The pads of his fingers grazed up against the rough patch up in your walls, stimulating the entire muscle of your clitoris from deep within. It sent a rush of euphoria to your senses, your brain ruminating in all different directions.

You felt an exploding sensation from down below, a feeling that wished to escape from your body so badly. Grasping the sheets and moaning at the top of your lungs, you arched your back and orgasmed right then and there—a gush of liquid erupting from your skene’s gland. It surprised Kageyama, you had never done that before, even with him.

“Holy shit,” His eyes widened, his face left in complete utter shock. Smiling up at you with his fingers coated in your slick, he positioned his fingers back to the entrance of your vagina and pushed forward. While penetrating deep inside your core, the tips of his fingers grazed against the same spot from before, his clipped fingernails aiding in stimulating the inner muscle of your clitoris yet again.

“Tobio! Fuck!” You wailed, whimpering incoherent mumbles as your eyebrows pinched. Grabbing onto the back of his hair, you cried out again as a gush of liquid erupted from your core all over the foot of the bed and onto Kageyama’s arms and chest. You breathed heavily while staring up at the ceiling, a tingling feeling extending all the way from your brain to the tips of your fingers. 

“Holy fuck, (Y/N). That was so hot,” Kageyama smirked, placing the two fingers he used to fuck you with on the base of his tongue, slowly moving it down to savor your taste. You locked eyes with him before he closed his mouth and swallowed all of your slick, your breath hitching as he began to climb over you.

Kageyama straddled your body between his thighs, slowly lowering his chest onto yours as your lips met with his. His kisses were rough yet caring, passionately bringing your face closer to his every time he deepened the kiss. You brought your left hand up to his face, caressing his soft skin and a little of his black hair behind his ear.

“I’m going in,” Kageyama whispered into your mouth, the warmth of his breath against your lips once more. He opened his eyes and looked down, grabbing the base of his erect cock as he coated the tip of his dick with your secretions. He moaned slightly, the nerve endings surrounding the head of his penis stimulated by the wetness of your entrance.

He let out a hesitated moan the minute he slid inside of you, collapsing his right arm down onto his elbow as he pinched his eyebrows together. Although Kageyama had fucked you hundreds of times before—without fail, every single time—your body never ceased to amaze him. You felt the same towards him as well, his large cock always surprisingly filling you up like it was your first time over and over again.

While gently rocking his hips back and forth, he kissed your lips again. You wrapped your arms around his neck while your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper into your body. You trailed your nails down his back, the sensation of your nails scratching against his skin arousing him even more as he continued to thrust inside of you. 

“Oh my god, Tobio,” You moaned into his ear, parting your lips slightly as your vision blurred—slowly closing your eyes as the view of the ceiling became darker and darker. Kageyama buried his head into the crook of your neck, his hot breath breathing down your skin as he brought his left hand up to grasp the sides of your throat.

You choked on your breath, hanging your mouth open as you felt his fingers grip around the base of your throat, lightly pinching the sides of your veins. A rush of pleasure shot straight to your head, the subsequent depletion of oxygen to your brain arousing your body even more. You scratched and dug your nails right below his shoulder blade, clinging your hands to his body as he began to roughly rock his hips deeper into your core.

Guided by the slick of your secretions, Kageyama glided his dick in and out of you effortlessly. He felt your walls tightening around his cock, the sudden increase of pressure driving him wild as he thrashed his hips against yours. You dug the heels of your feet on the crook of his back, feeling every little joint crack as you curled the tips of your toes.

Kageyama gripped the headboard with his right hand, his left still placed around your neck. The back of your head buried deeper into the pillow as your body rocked forcefully against his, the bed starting to squeak. Your skin felt cold, the sweat dripping off of your body cooling you down as you continued to moan with the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Fuck!” You screamed while feeling the tip of his cock hit the entrance of your cervix as Kageyama slowed down his movements. Every time he pushed himself deeper inside of you, a small moan escaped his lips, sending a rush of pleasure all over his body. He lifted himself off of you, grabbing your hips with his rough hands. 

“Turn around,” Kageyama commanded as he pulled his dick out—wrapping his finger around the base of his cock as he slowly pumped his hand up and down. You flipped your body over onto the other side, pulling yourself up onto your knees as you buried your elbows onto the pillow. He slapped your ass with his free hand, kneading his fingers onto your skin as he dragged along your lower back.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he praised before tracing the tips of fingers along your slit, feeling up and down your folds as he placed his cock back into entrance of your vagina. Kageyama pushed himself in, sharply exhaling as his dick filled you up completely.

You gasped, the tip of his cock grazing against your cervix driving you wild. Your elbows collapsed onto the bed; your head hanging low while you pinched your eyes shut. A soft and breathless whimper escaped through your mouth, your body rocking against the rhythm of Kageyama’s thrusts.

“I love you,” you breathed, those three letter words being the only thing ruminating throughout your mind. Feeling Kageyama trace his hands behind your back, the sides of his cock slid out of you once again—your body completely crumbling down into the sheets as he plunged himself back in, almost deeper than before.

“Fuck,” Kageyama breathed out, tensing his body against yours as he brought his hips further, digging his fingers well into your sides. He leaned over and placed his lips on your shoulder, dragging his teeth along your tensed muscles before biting softly against your sweet skin, pressing his tongue against your body. 

Another moan escaped your lips, this time bringing your head up with it as you cried his name again. You placed your left arm behind your body, grabbing onto Kageyama’s as he rocked himself against your ass. Your toes curled, feeling the rush of blood go down your legs as a tightened feeling formed at the pit of your stomach.

It wasn’t the first time you both had sex with each other, but it was the first time you both made love. Somehow, the confessions of the three letter words made the intimacy between you two grow—each touch between your bodies becoming more passionate; more sensual; more loving. Your body felt like it was melting on a bed of roses, each stroke from Kageyama lifting you higher and higher into the sky.

Your lust transformed into love, each and every thrust directly telling your body how much Kageyama loved you. Every time his hands grazed against your back, the joints in your limbs became weak—making it hard for you to keep focus. The night filled up with you screaming his name out of love; the way “Tobio” escaped your lips sounding ethereal each time.

Although the intercourse between you two at the moment hadn’t been long nor as exciting than other times you’ve both been intimate with each other, it was definitely the one you would remember the most after he’d leave. All the other times didn’t matter anymore; what mattered was his confession and the long awaited three words you’d been dying to hear him say the entire time.

Kageyama knew telling you that he’d love you all along would be even worse than leaving to Italy the next morning. He couldn’t even imagine what you would be feeling, knowing the pain of never being with the person you love because of predestined circumstances. All he wanted to do was spend his last remaining moments in Japan with you, the person he’d only ever truly loved in his life.

You came the moment he kissed your lips and bucked his hips, feeling all of his love spill into your body. The tip of his dick caressed against your g-spot, making your brain feel all sorts of pleasure as your vision blurred and turned black. You felt Kageyama wrap his arm around your head, cradling your figure against his firm chest. The night was filled with heavy breathing and sweet nothings, accompanied by repeated exchanges of “I love you”.

Kageyama buried his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent of your after-sex musk. It was almost dawn, the sunrise peeking through on a beautiful June morning. The air was cold and cool, yet condensed with heat exerted from both of your bodies. For a while, you both laid there in each other’s arms, wishing the night wouldn’t end.

For the rest of the time being, you couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard you tried. Kageyama had to leave before noon to catch his flight. You stared at the empty beige wall in your room, running your fingers through Kageyama’s hair as an expressionless look remained on your face, pondering through the ‘what ifs’ and scenarios in ways you two could be together without any boundaries.

Your heart pumped slowly, feeling the slowed rush of blood to each and every part of your limbs. Nothing could describe the anguish you felt, knowing in a few hours he’d have to leave you permanently.

If only you could go with him; find a program somewhere in Rome that would accept you, achieving your primary education license in Europe so you two could finally, for once, be together. Maybe your idealized version of happiness could exist; both of you in a bright flower field with tall grass, situated on the brink of Tuscany underneath the blazing sun with the cool wind breezing through your legs.

Yet, your life remained here in Japan with all of your family and closest friends; your education and your job; the familiarity you’d always known.

Sooner or later, the hour crept up and Kageyama had to leave. You both stood there underneath the door frame with the Taxi waiting out front beneath your apartment complex, crying your eyes out. He kept reminding you that everything was going to be okay, and that it wouldn’t be the last time you’d ever see him. Touching your wet cheek, a single tear ran down his face as he swiped away yours with the pad of his thumb.

“Please don’t cry.” Kageyama reassured, despite his own eyes watering up. “I love you.”

He unzipped his personalized Schweiden Adlers track jacket, slipping out his arms from the sleeves before swinging it over your body and placing it on top of your shoulders. Pulling you in close, he caressed your back, feeling your waist underneath his jacket.

“For you to keep in memory of me.”

He gave you a quick kiss on your lips, the tears dripping down from both of your eyes colliding with each other as you flung your arms around his neck. You buried your head into his neck, pathetic and pitiful whimpers escaping your lips as the tears dropped down into his shirt. His body was warm, feeling his arm wrap around your figure. Whispering what he expected you to say, Kageyama’s heart sank.

“I don’t want you to go.”

He didn’t respond, not knowing what to say back. Another tear escaped his eyes, the droplets of his pain already staining the jacket on your shoulders. Kageyama wondered if he should risk it all, staying back in Japan to be with you.

But alas, he’d be breaking the promise he made with himself. He finally achieved the dream he’d always dreamed of, doing the one thing he loved doing. It was just unfortunate that he couldn’t be doing it alongside you.

“You are the light shining in my dark life, (Y/N). I will always love you.”

Those were the last words he said to you. Kageyama left your apartment with a final goodbye, a final hug, and a final kiss. Once his lips pulled away from yours, you sharply breathed in and turned away, closing the door behind you as he walked down the steps to the Taxi. You didn’t even look back, not wanting to put yourself through the pain again.

Later that evening, all you could do was lay in your bed and stare up at the ceiling, no thoughts going through your mind anymore. Your tears ran dry while you felt a pressure in your sinus, your lips slightly parted as your heart pumped slowly throughout your body. No pain, you thought. No pain, no anguish. You were finally cut loose from the Devil’s grip.

The day passed by gradually, watching the sun go down and the moon rise up. You picked up your phone, swiping through all of the ignored text messages before glancing at the clock.

Silently, another tear fell from your eyes. It was 2AM again, and you could only think about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me crying while writing the ending lol. I'm so sorry


End file.
